Post by QPR Report on Jul 24, 2009 6:15:05 GMT
"... You can train hard and work hard but in the end there's nothing like games to get you fit. Managers naturally say that it's not about winning or losing in pre-season games, but it is. They want to be playing tough games, not easy games that they're going to win six or seven nil just for a work out. They don't know where they stand with that. Maybe that's OK in the first week or 10 days but after that they want to be playing tough teams.
Yeah, but what does he know!
The Guardian/Gregg Roughley Smal Talk
Terry VenablesThe former England manager on Wikipedia's inaccuracies, writing detective novels and that goatee beard
Hello Terry Hello Small Talk.
You're flying the flag for this weekend's Wembley Cup aren't you? Spurs, Barcelona, Celtic and that Egyptian team that Small Talk can't pronounce ... [Laughs] Al-Ahly they're called. The tournament's going to be great because it's an absolute coup to get Barcelona in their first outing since they won the Champions League. These tournaments are very popular abroad and over here we've had a few of them, but they tend to depend on the ingredients. To have Celtic there representing Glasgow and Spurs who'll bring 40 or 50,000 each over the two games is magnificent. And then Barcelona ... well they will be at it.
I bet Terry. But aren't these tournaments a bit like hard work during pre-season? You can train hard and work hard but in the end there's nothing like games to get you fit. Managers naturally say that it's not about winning or losing in pre-season games, but it is. They want to be playing tough games, not easy games that they're going to win six or seven nil just for a work out. They don't know where they stand with that. Maybe that's OK in the first week or 10 days but after that they want to be playing tough teams.
You've managed Spurs; you've managed Barça. So who do you want to win? "Well if neither of them win I can't lose can I?"
Ah, very diplomatic Terry, but that's not answering the question ... Ah but the question is who do I think will win isn't it?
Not really ... I think Barcelona will win. I think Spurs and Celtic and Al-Ahly have got a chance. Al-Ahly, well no one's mentioned them. They are very successful.
On your Wikipedia page it says you're the manager of QPR. Has Small Talk missed something? I know all about Wikipedia and it's not the first mistake on there I can assure you. I've read some of that stuff and I don't know how they expect to be taken seriously.
Small Talk doesn't have that problem Terry, but if you're not managing QPR then would you consider another job in management? I shouldn't think so. I don't know, you never say never do you? But I don't know.
And what about the shenanigans at Newcastle? You got lucky didn't you? You were pretty close to managing them … I did go and speak to them but it looked like they were going to sell out in the next four or five weeks which would have been pointless. You put yourself in a laughable position if someone sells out and then they don't want you [laughs].
Absolutely. But you're known as a bit of a firefighter these days. Isn't that what Newcastle need? They don't need a firefighter, they need to start winning and get on the front foot. That's what gets you out of trouble. Basically, those jobs are alright, but you want to have a chance of winning something.
George Graham won a bit as a manager didn't he? Weren't you at his wedding on the morning of a match between Arsenal and Spurs? Yeah, it's true. I was the best man.
And you played against each other in the afternoon after he'd tied the knot? Yeah, so there were no jollies after the wedding. I didn't want to feel jolly anyway before playing against him.
So if you weren't jolly at the wedding did he kick lumps out of you on the pitch? Oh, not much. Arsenal won 4-0. But Spurs have had their own back since then.
You've had a few intriguing business interests alongside football. One of them was writing a TV show about a private detective. It was called Hazell wasn't it? Yeah, it was an idea I had which wasn't working at first so I put a detective into it to be the vehicle for the story. It was originally a real tearjerker and my writing partner wasn't very good at all that stuff, so I said 'this is not working, it's crap'. So we put a detective in it with a similar attitude to us and it worked out well.
You're quite the creative type then ... We wrote three novels together as well actually. But with the TV show nothing happened at first and then about seven months later the BBC and ITV both wanted it in the same week. There were two 13-episode series which ran every Monday at prime time. It was quite big.
I can't imagine many modern-day footballers penning a novel these days ... No, no. I shouldn't think so.
You owned a club called Scribes West too didn't you? I bet there were some juicy tales on the opening night weren't there? No not really. There were some juicy tales but not on the opening night ...
Go on ... In 1991 when Spurs won the FA Cup. That was a good one back then [laughs].
Who was the biggest mess? [Laughing] Well, Gazza wasn't there.
What do you make of Gazza these days, do you still speak to him? Occasionally. When he can. He's fine, I think.
Might be a touchy question this, but what's going on with that goatee beard? [Laughs] Well, it's for the wife. She quite likes it actually. She's been banging on at me to have one for years. It's not a big deal, I'm alright. I haven't got to have an operation to get it removed or anything. I can shave it off.
Didn't you once take part in Celebrity Stars in Your Eyes some years back? Yeah I did.
Let me guess. I bet you did Frank Sinatra didn't you? No, no. So many people had done him that they asked me to do someone else. So I did Anthony Newley.
Ah, another east London boy done good. Do you still let rip at the mic? A bit of Karaoke perhaps? Sometimes, but I'm not particularly good at it.
No need for modesty Terry. So what music are you listening to at the moment? The finest bit of music at the moment is Rhapsody in Blue by Herbie Hancock and Lang Lang. They performed it at the Brits. I pulled it up on the old YouTube today. It's fantastic.
Very highbrow. And what's your favourite film? The Odd Couple with Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau - that's a funny film. When I was at Barcelona it was the only film I had in the house and I was in on my own for most of the day. I could have mimed every word in the end.
Sounds a bit lonely Terry. What papers did you read to beat the boredom? The Daily Mail and the Sun.
What book are you reading at the moment then? Michael Connelly's The Brass Verdict. It's a crime novel. I quite like those page turners.
If you could put anything in Room 101 what would it be? I've done all that. I did the programme.
We must have missed that episode ... Ah well, there you go see. Listen, I've really got to be going ...
Before you go can you tell Small Talk a joke? No, I'm really not in the mood. Another time maybe.
Oh no, sorry to hear that. What about a drink then? The way I'm feeling at the moment I'd love a pint - a pint of bitter.
Next time then Terry. You'd better be off. Bye. Goodbye Small Talk.
Terry Venables was talking as an ambassador for The Wembley Cup brought to you by Palm Hills Developments. One-day and Two-day tickets are still available for the games on 24 and 26 July 24 at www.thewembleycup.com or via Ticketmaster on 0844 847 2540 or seetickets on 0871 230 7154.
www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2009/jul/24/terry-venables-small-talk
Yeah, but what does he know!
The Guardian/Gregg Roughley Smal Talk
Terry VenablesThe former England manager on Wikipedia's inaccuracies, writing detective novels and that goatee beard
Hello Terry Hello Small Talk.
You're flying the flag for this weekend's Wembley Cup aren't you? Spurs, Barcelona, Celtic and that Egyptian team that Small Talk can't pronounce ... [Laughs] Al-Ahly they're called. The tournament's going to be great because it's an absolute coup to get Barcelona in their first outing since they won the Champions League. These tournaments are very popular abroad and over here we've had a few of them, but they tend to depend on the ingredients. To have Celtic there representing Glasgow and Spurs who'll bring 40 or 50,000 each over the two games is magnificent. And then Barcelona ... well they will be at it.
I bet Terry. But aren't these tournaments a bit like hard work during pre-season? You can train hard and work hard but in the end there's nothing like games to get you fit. Managers naturally say that it's not about winning or losing in pre-season games, but it is. They want to be playing tough games, not easy games that they're going to win six or seven nil just for a work out. They don't know where they stand with that. Maybe that's OK in the first week or 10 days but after that they want to be playing tough teams.
You've managed Spurs; you've managed Barça. So who do you want to win? "Well if neither of them win I can't lose can I?"
Ah, very diplomatic Terry, but that's not answering the question ... Ah but the question is who do I think will win isn't it?
Not really ... I think Barcelona will win. I think Spurs and Celtic and Al-Ahly have got a chance. Al-Ahly, well no one's mentioned them. They are very successful.
On your Wikipedia page it says you're the manager of QPR. Has Small Talk missed something? I know all about Wikipedia and it's not the first mistake on there I can assure you. I've read some of that stuff and I don't know how they expect to be taken seriously.
Small Talk doesn't have that problem Terry, but if you're not managing QPR then would you consider another job in management? I shouldn't think so. I don't know, you never say never do you? But I don't know.
And what about the shenanigans at Newcastle? You got lucky didn't you? You were pretty close to managing them … I did go and speak to them but it looked like they were going to sell out in the next four or five weeks which would have been pointless. You put yourself in a laughable position if someone sells out and then they don't want you [laughs].
Absolutely. But you're known as a bit of a firefighter these days. Isn't that what Newcastle need? They don't need a firefighter, they need to start winning and get on the front foot. That's what gets you out of trouble. Basically, those jobs are alright, but you want to have a chance of winning something.
George Graham won a bit as a manager didn't he? Weren't you at his wedding on the morning of a match between Arsenal and Spurs? Yeah, it's true. I was the best man.
And you played against each other in the afternoon after he'd tied the knot? Yeah, so there were no jollies after the wedding. I didn't want to feel jolly anyway before playing against him.
So if you weren't jolly at the wedding did he kick lumps out of you on the pitch? Oh, not much. Arsenal won 4-0. But Spurs have had their own back since then.
You've had a few intriguing business interests alongside football. One of them was writing a TV show about a private detective. It was called Hazell wasn't it? Yeah, it was an idea I had which wasn't working at first so I put a detective into it to be the vehicle for the story. It was originally a real tearjerker and my writing partner wasn't very good at all that stuff, so I said 'this is not working, it's crap'. So we put a detective in it with a similar attitude to us and it worked out well.
You're quite the creative type then ... We wrote three novels together as well actually. But with the TV show nothing happened at first and then about seven months later the BBC and ITV both wanted it in the same week. There were two 13-episode series which ran every Monday at prime time. It was quite big.
I can't imagine many modern-day footballers penning a novel these days ... No, no. I shouldn't think so.
You owned a club called Scribes West too didn't you? I bet there were some juicy tales on the opening night weren't there? No not really. There were some juicy tales but not on the opening night ...
Go on ... In 1991 when Spurs won the FA Cup. That was a good one back then [laughs].
Who was the biggest mess? [Laughing] Well, Gazza wasn't there.
What do you make of Gazza these days, do you still speak to him? Occasionally. When he can. He's fine, I think.
Might be a touchy question this, but what's going on with that goatee beard? [Laughs] Well, it's for the wife. She quite likes it actually. She's been banging on at me to have one for years. It's not a big deal, I'm alright. I haven't got to have an operation to get it removed or anything. I can shave it off.
Didn't you once take part in Celebrity Stars in Your Eyes some years back? Yeah I did.
Let me guess. I bet you did Frank Sinatra didn't you? No, no. So many people had done him that they asked me to do someone else. So I did Anthony Newley.
Ah, another east London boy done good. Do you still let rip at the mic? A bit of Karaoke perhaps? Sometimes, but I'm not particularly good at it.
No need for modesty Terry. So what music are you listening to at the moment? The finest bit of music at the moment is Rhapsody in Blue by Herbie Hancock and Lang Lang. They performed it at the Brits. I pulled it up on the old YouTube today. It's fantastic.
Very highbrow. And what's your favourite film? The Odd Couple with Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau - that's a funny film. When I was at Barcelona it was the only film I had in the house and I was in on my own for most of the day. I could have mimed every word in the end.
Sounds a bit lonely Terry. What papers did you read to beat the boredom? The Daily Mail and the Sun.
What book are you reading at the moment then? Michael Connelly's The Brass Verdict. It's a crime novel. I quite like those page turners.
If you could put anything in Room 101 what would it be? I've done all that. I did the programme.
We must have missed that episode ... Ah well, there you go see. Listen, I've really got to be going ...
Before you go can you tell Small Talk a joke? No, I'm really not in the mood. Another time maybe.
Oh no, sorry to hear that. What about a drink then? The way I'm feeling at the moment I'd love a pint - a pint of bitter.
Next time then Terry. You'd better be off. Bye. Goodbye Small Talk.
Terry Venables was talking as an ambassador for The Wembley Cup brought to you by Palm Hills Developments. One-day and Two-day tickets are still available for the games on 24 and 26 July 24 at www.thewembleycup.com or via Ticketmaster on 0844 847 2540 or seetickets on 0871 230 7154.
www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2009/jul/24/terry-venables-small-talk
