NO REGRETS - A state of denial usually exhibited by football club chairmen when they have wasted vast sums of money only to take the club backwards from when they took control. This often masks deep seated resentment to advisers, ex-managers, agents and players which will re-surface if the former glories are once again achieved.
I WAS BADLY ADVISED - A euphemistic term used to described the utter shame felt when an experienced businessman places blind trust in virtual strangers and commits enormous resources with little diligence ending in abject failure. Often used to assuage the feelings of having made a total fool of themselves in the public eye.
DOSSIER - In practice, a file of information on a player compiled by a technical adviser to the manager. In reality, an A4 sheet printed from Wikipedia inside a plastic folder.
POUND SHOP - A preferred supplier of dossiers (see above). When news leaked that Mike Rigg sourced his dossiers from Pound Shop, Tony Fernandes exposed the depth of his financial acumen by asked how much they cost.
COMMITTED - The state of being detained in a facility following a period of mental impairment.
COMMITTED - A nagging feeling of hopeless attachment to something you wish you had never got into in the first place and now only has a slim chance of success. Often accompanied by bewilderment as to how the situation ever happened. Like getting your finger stuck in a bowling ball just before white water rafting.
KARL HENRY - A cultured, creative midfielder in the style of Vinny Jones.
DANNY SIMPSON - A former Premiership defender now signed with QPR. Once personally lined with Tulisa Contostavlos, singer with Camden hip hop band N-Dubz.
A DOG WITH TWO DICKS - Camden hip hop band N-Dubz.
RICHARD DUNNE - A hard-man old style centre back. Tough as old boots, always committed, ready for the fight and will put his body on the line every time. Has only managed 25 minutes of football in the last 12 months due to injury.