Post by Macmoish on Aug 5, 2010 19:05:55 GMT
Formerly Blogging for the BBC...Now on the Football League Site
Football League
THE CHRIS CHARLES BLOG 1
Posted on: 05.08.2010
Welcome one and all to my first blog for the Football League website, where I'll be looking ahead to the new season and looking back at some of the best bits from last term.
Some of you may remember me from such blogs as Review of the Week and Quotes of the week over on the BBC site and the aim here is to follow a similar pattern - i.e. not take things too seriously.
Naturally I will be concerning myself with the 72 League clubs, so if you're a fan, manager, player or chairman with an interesting story/quote/chant to share, then email me on chris.charles@football-league.co.uk.
You can also follow me on Twitter: twitter.com/chris__charles
In true Take Hart style, I won't be able to show all of them, but your thoughts will be gratefully received.
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It seems like five minutes since the World Cup finished, yet already the new season is upon us (much to the delight of my long-suffering other half).
It all kicks off with Norwich v Watford on Friday and the newly-promoted Canaries will be hoping for a better start this time around, following last season's opening-day 7-1 walloping by Colchester at Carrow Road.
Norwich promptly went out and acquired the services of U's boss Paul Lambert in a move reminiscent of the old Remington Steele shaver ads - "I liked it so much, I bought the company."
You can bet the Canaries fan who ripped up his season ticket and threw it at Bryan Gunn was beginning to question the wisdom of his decision as the campaign progressed, but hats off to the supporter who came up with the banner of the year in protest at Manchester United's 'green and gold' campaign: 'Glazers out! We want our scarves back!'
Staying in the Championship and Bristol City made a statement of intent by signing David James from Portsmouth - surely the coup of the summer. The England keeper snubbed advances from Premier League clubs because the Robins suited his needs best, although judging by the huge volume of hair currently sitting on his head, Barnet may have been a better bet.
The Underhill mob narrowly avoided relegation to the Conference after an heroic late run from Grimsby, but the Mariners eventually succumbed, leading to a legendary rant from a disillusioned fan - most of which is too naughty to print, although I can give you a little (edited) reminder.
"Dad, you can (go away). This is your fault. Your idea. You introduced me to this shower of (manure). 'Come with me to Blundell Park,' you said, 'Come and support the boys.' What could I do? I was (flipping) four, what choice did I have?
"I could have gone with mum shopping for bras and knickers at British Home Stores, but no, you knew best...."
A fellow-QPR fan ran him close after my lot decided to hold their own manager of the month competition last season, moaning: "I take more pleasure in seeing Chelsea lose than I do in seeing QPR win at the moment... I hate Garth Crooks. I hate Garth Brooks for that matter…I hate grown men wearing football shirts of their team whilst shopping on a Saturday…I hate that I don't hate Roy Hodgson…"
Another gem from last term was the Millwall season-ticket holder who went to get a ticket for the Charlton derby, only to discover his seat had been sold.
The fan ranted on Millwall's marvellously-named messageboard 'House of Fun' that it was an outrage the club had sold his seat, only for the penny to finally drop (after five pages of painful explaining from fellow users) that the reason the seat in question had been sold was because he had bought it as part of his season-ticket.
Journey of the year was the 400-mile round-trip made by a pair of Rotherham fans to Aldershot for a League 2 game, only to discover upon their arrival that the game was actually being played at the Don Valley Stadium.
The League lost one of its most charismatic characters after Ian Holloway led his Blackpool side to the most unlikely promotion of the year. Ollie insisted he was the perfect match for the Seasiders "because we both look better in the dark!"
His natural successor is possibly the gaffer of promotion favourite Middlesbrough, Gordon Strachan.
If his tribe of exiled Scots do the business, he's sure to come out with one of his famous one-liners. My particular favourite came when a reporter asked if he could 'have a quick word'. "Velocity" came the reply, as Strachan continued walking.
Neil Warnock is another manager not short of a word or two. While at financially-troubled Crystal Palace last season he quipped: "The sandwiches were fantastic today - all the lads made a comment, because they didn't think they were going to get any!"
Even the PA announcer got into the gallows humour, scooping the award for best pre-match song with his choice of Blue Oyster Cult's Don't Fear The Reaper.
Palace have thankfully been saved from oblivion, without the help of P Diddy who was rumoured to be mounting a takeover at one stage. Eagles fans were initially excited by the prospect of attracting one of the world's biggest rap stars to Selhurst Park - until it dawned on them they would be christened 'The Diddymen'.
The Football League's shortest-staying resident was Sol Campbell, who made his debut and final appearance for Notts County on the same afternoon (a 2-1 defeat by Morecambe in case you were wondering). Chances are he won't be demanding a testimonial.
Sven-Goran Erikssson was the unlikely head of the Meadow Lane revolution - a fling that lasted longer than some of his reported dalliances - and possibly not the first time he had been tied up in Notts.
My favourite Football League chant of last season was Huddersfield's tribute to Lee Novak: "We've got Novak, we've got No-va-aa-ak. Our carpets are filthy, we've got Novak."
It was closely followed by a ditty at the Port Vale-Lincoln match to a vertically-challenged referee - "You're supposed to be a gnome!"
I also liked "Easter is better than Christmas!" from the MK Dons fans after Jermaine Easter scored against Stockport on Boxing Day, although the Dons fans' allegiance was called into question by
Leeds, who asked: "Who did you support before?"
Meanwhile, Barnet fans made the best of the foggy conditions at Morecambe by declaring: "We are invisible!"
And finally we come to the stadium announcements.
We'll kick off with he chap welcoming Hartlepool to Oldham's Boundary Park with the cheery greeting: "Don't be fooled by the sunshine - it'll be snowing in 20 minutes."
Then there was the Watford announcer who gleefully announced the following half-time score by saying: "QPR 0-2 Ipswich - there'll be a new manager in the morning, then!" (You'll begin to realise during the course of the season that my musings tend to be exercises in self-deprecation.)
And finally, hats off to the Ipswich official who announced: "If you are parked in the Buttermarket car park, it closes at five….oh and by the way, my mother-in-law is cooking jacket potato and cold meat."
If you think that's surreal, stick around for the season and hopefully, with your help, we'll uncover a few more gems just waiting to be given a wider audience.
To contact Chris with an interesting story/quote/chant to share, then email him on chris.charles@football-league.co.uk or contact him via Twitter at twitter.com/chris__charles.
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